Transformed Lives:
Jan Baxter, Lost and Found

In the late 1960s my life was filled with confusion, deception, and a gnawing feeling that I was not normal and that I never fit in anywhere or with anyone. I searched into several different avenues to connect with God, such as witchcraft and the Rosicrucians.

Eventually I joined with Jehovah’s Witnesses. Once into that group, I felt I could not leave because of the fear of losing my family to destruction if I failed to stay on the faithful path. The fear was controlling, and it continued for several years until my emotional state was so drained that I turned to alcohol for relief. It was another pathway that led to more destruction as I became a bartender and adopted the lifestyle that usually goes along with the job.

During the years of addiction to alcohol, somewhere in the back of my muddled mind I found a piece of comfort by remembering the time I had accepted Jesus as my Savior in a little Baptist Church in Tillamook, Oregon. I remembered how real it was when at age twelve I began to see angels and could almost feel God talking to me. I loved to pray with my mother and wore her out with several prayers a day. Whatever happened to that girl, I wondered as I lay in my stupor.

I remembered more pleasant memories of preaching to my neighborhood friends when we played church. In fact, I would not play unless I was the preacher. Sometimes when I preached, I would pretend that I was in another nation, and I would then preach “in their native tongue.” I realize today that I had received the baptism in the Holy Spirit at age twelve, but since I had never heard of such a thing, I did not understand what I was doing in my play times.

As I continued to think about my growing up years, I began having dreams of finding a job that would allow me to travel around the world. I could “see” three specific countries that I wanted to visit—the Philippines, England, and China. When I dreamed of the Philippines, I could literally smell the wonderful aroma of the flowers and see the lush foliage.

In the meantime, my life continued to spiral downward until I realized I had an addiction. I needed to do something or I could die. In 1971, I decided to return to the Jehovah’s Witnesses because I felt it must be the right way. The stuff from my childhood was all a dream. How could any of those childhood dreams come true? After all, I had lived in the small town of Tillamook all my life, and I didn’t know anyone outside my town.

I prepared for the Sunday Watchtower meeting. The reading was so boring and lifeless, just like I felt inside. But I was determined to press through and get back. As I began to read The Watchtower magazine, I thought I heard a voice calling my name. Who could that be?

I became frightened and trembled as the voice came a second time. I ran into the kitchen to hide from the voice. I remembered being taught that hearing voices meant that the devil was talking to you because God did not speak to people today except through The Watchtower.

The audible voice called my name a third time and asked me the question, “Why are you reading The Watchtower instead of my Word?” This time with the voice came an internal, supernatural peace that calmed my lifetime of unrest. This time I spoke back. I said my name, my address, and the color of my house and then added, “Jehovah, if this is you, I want to know you!”

All the confusion drained out of me. All the searching for any pathway to God was over. He had found me!

I went to a church that Sunday, not realizing it was Easter. I did not know the day was special since I had not celebrated a holiday in years. But as the preacher talked about Jesus, it sounded like I could know Him as a close friend. It also sounded like He would forgive me of every sin I had committed, and there were many. I began to walk forward to accept Him, and I felt a pressure on my back that literally pressed me down to my face in the middle of the aisle!

I had no idea that it was the power of the Holy Spirit. I did not want to stop moving forward, so I crawled the rest of the way to the altar. As I repeated the prayer of salvation, I saw my life flash before my eyes like a moving picture. At the end of the putrid scenes, I saw and heard Jesus Himself say to me, “That is what you have done, but I have washed you clean.”

I arose a new creature who acted differently and felt differently. I no longer needed alcohol to help me make it through the days and nights. I read the Bible like it was food. The dreams of going to other places continued. I felt I would be preaching and traveling, but I did not know how that would happen.

In 1990, I moved to Beaverton with my husband and at an Aglow meeting, I met Lana Heightley. She was the first person who seemed to know me by the Spirit of God. She called out my gift in prayer after seeing me only one time. In 1994, I traveled with her and her brother Powell to the Philippines! My dreams were coming true. In 1996, I went with Lana on the first trip of Women With a Mission. I was one of the twelve members of that first team.

I cannot thank the Lord enough for connecting me with Lana. I have learned one thing over the years. If you want your dreams to come true, you need to hook up with someone else traveling in the same direction. In God’s kingdom we help each other succeed, and by doing so we succeed. What an honor to work and minister alongside women of such integrity.

I have been to the Philippines seven times and to India, Malaysia, Japan, Australia. This year I will be going to Japan for a second time under the covering of Women With a Mission. I count it a privilege to be used by the Lord, in His vineyard, at this crucial time in history.

I have such a passion for the Body of Christ to arise to its full potential in every nation, tribe, and tongue. God is on the move, and we will move with Him. I owe Him everything for touching my life and changing my direction by the power of His Spirit.

Jan Baxter lives in Tillamook, Oregon, where she attends Tillamook Christian Center AG church. She is ordained through Oregon Gospel Ministries and Assemblies of God International and is a member of the American Christian Counselors.